I recently attended a funeral where, before the service started, a gentleman from the funeral home passed out printed copies of several hymns to those seated in the chapel waiting for the service to start. As he did so, he said in a curious tone to the folks in every other row or so, “There will be congregational singing at this funeral today.” It was as if he was looking for a confirming response of similar bewilderment at the unusual thought of singing as a group at a funeral. As he passed out the papers, I thanked him and said, “Wonderful,” or something to that effect. It was a quick exchange, but it stuck with me. The church community I am a part of is a singing group, and our church attendees may not have thought much of the man’s manner and words as he passed out the song copies. We sing when we gather, depart, in church, at a picnic, etc. Still, it was good for me to be reminded that this funeral director’s stance on singing at a funeral is more common than it should be and once was. His response highlights that culturally we have forgotten how good and right it is to “sing people in” and “sing people out” of the world, so to speak. We have forgotten that our hearing is our first and last sense.
The Priority of Hearing
One contemporary American theologian, James B. Jordan, has said that the eye is the organ of judgment, and the ear is the organ of submission. British Hymnologist Erik Routley seemingly reinforces that same point about hearing versus seeing when he says, “You cannot close your ears, and if a group of Christian people chose to sing a hymn under your windows, you are defenseless.”1 Your ears remain open where your eyes and mouth have the option not to be. Jordan suggests that congregations would do well to look up and hear the Word read aloud in church, while Routley’s point is more aimed at the effective work of singing hymns to one another. Both men highlight, at minimum, the priority of the sense of hearing. Additionally, we recall the Apostle Paul’s “faith comes by hearing” passage from Romans.2 Hearing, therefore, is given priority over the other senses. Therefore, Christians should carefully consider how we might maximize hearing at the beginning and end of life.
Whether it’s a pair of headphones on a pregnant mother's belly or that same mother a few months later singing a lullaby while patting/rocking a newborn, it is common to have music attend the earliest days of our existence. New parents are often attentive to how they might best expose their children to music and singing in their earliest days. But are we equally concerned with how music and singing attend our last days? In short, no, we are not as attentive. Many understandable things can distract us from this vital aspect of dying well. It’s not hard to see how the sense of hearing, particularly hearing sung and spoken words, could be forgotten amid the many things that must be attended to at the time of death. I don’t wish to say more about the why and how. Instead, I’d rather highlight some ways to maximize singing and hearing in the beginning and ending days of life.
Some Ways to Maximize Hearing & Singing
From Womb:
Singing in church and at home during the nine months is not insignificant in developing the listening habits of that little person in utero. Don’t underestimate its value.
Sing while you hold, rock, drive the car, push the stroller, and everywhere else.
Sing hymns, folk songs, and lullabies. If you don’t think you can do it, then play recordings of these some of the time as well.
Set a culture of singing where you are never too far from breaking into song in your home and family life. This means older siblings can help acquaint their new siblings with much musical hearing.
As you fill up your children with good stories, fill them up with good song stories and see a similar blessing ordinarily come their way.
To Tomb:
Sing at the bedside of a family member on hospice. Sing hymns, psalms, beloved songs, and more. Maybe they can’t talk with you for too long without getting weary. Perhaps they can’t speak at all. Then sing to them to help pass the time well.
Make a recording of you and your kids singing and play that on a loop at the bedside when you can’t be there with your loved one at night or during the workday. You could mix it with greetings, messages, scripture, poetry, stories, etc. You could do all this recording on your smartphone from your voice memo app.
You could do what I did and burn a CD with songs and readings I recorded and found and played that on an inexpensive CD player for my uncle, who was alone in a nursing home. I would visit him at night, and the TV would be blaring some mind-numbing sounds of news or drama. I would turn it off and hit play on this CD that I had fit with 50 minutes of music, scripture, and hymns.
Sing at their funeral or memorial service. Don’t just sing their favorite hymn. Sing other hymns to comfort you, and others present in God’s promises to us all. Include everyone in the singing. It’s OK to have a choir or soloist sing, but don’t let that be the only singing that happens.
Tell your family that you wish to have singing at your funeral. You could specify much or leave it to them. But that wish will likely be honored if you make it known.
Sing at the Graveside. Sing the Doxology or a verse of a well-known hymn as you stand there at the close of the graveside service. You don’t have to sing a whole hymn in its entirety. Just sing something like the Doxology, The Lord’s Prayer, a setting of Psalm 23, etc.
Ministry Through Song
Scottish hymn-writer James Montgomery penned a poignant reminder of why we sing here on earth in his 1819 text, Songs of Praise the Angels Sang. In one of the latter stanzas of the hymn text Montgomery reminds us of the importance of singing “here and now” when he declares:
Saints below, with heart and voice, Still in songs of praise rejoice; Learning here, by faith and love, Songs of praise to sing above.
Additionally, the final stanza from the well-known hymn O Sacred Head, Now Wounded, beautifully articulates the hope and simultaneous prayer of those who “die in the Lord”3 and illustrates how fitting it is for those dying moments to be adorned with songs of promise, praise, and thanks. It reads:
Be near when I am dying, O show Thy cross to me! And, for my succor flying, Come, Lord, to set me free: These eyes, new faith receiving, From Thee shall never move; For he who dies believing Dies safely in Thy love.
Conclusion
It’s been said that no one on their deathbed wishes they had fewer grandchildren. Similarly, when we see our loved ones again in eternity, I doubt they will wish people would have sung less to them when they were young and old. Just the opposite. May it never be our lament that folks didn’t sing more to us in our earliest and last days.
May it be that we live and die well, singing and being sung to in our first, middle, and last days. What better way could you enter and depart this life than with the glorious accompaniment of songs of hope, promise, joy, and peace?
Routley, Erik. Hymns and Human Life. United Kingdom: John Murray, 1959, 2–3.
See Romans 10:17.
See Revelation 14:13.
A friend sent me this video after my post yesterday on "The First and Last of the Senses." A congregation gathered outside one of the pastor's windows the day before he died and sang psalms and hymns to him. This is the ST. COLUMBA tune setting of Psalm 23 (The King of Love My Shepherd Is). May there be more of this kind of thing! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oyv5cEPJJ8M